A few weeks ago I bumped up against something in my life that I knew in my heart was not
going to work for me. I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and said, “I don’t know what will be, but not this. Not this.” I didn’t know where I was going from that point, I didn’t have an alternative plan, but I was clear it would not be THAT. And that instant of clarity was enough for that moment. “Not this”.
A few days later, a small issue arose and I found myself muttering “not this” under my breath. I liked the sound of it. It was simple. It was straight to the point, and I began exploring ways I could use this simple phrase as a tool for myself and my clients. A
simple way to tune into and acknowledge our inner GPS, rather like recognizing a sign in the road. A simple way to clarify that in a moment of realization we are acknowledging that which is not going to work for us. We can figure out the rest later.
Do not enter.
Wrong way.
Stop and do not proceed further.
And then this week Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a column on Facebook titled, you guessed it, NOT THIS! I loved it. She said more completely and of course (she is Elizabeth Gilbert after all) more eloquently what I had been thinking about for weeks. Here is an excerpt:
I call this moment of realization: NOT THIS.
Because sometimes that's all you know, at such a moment.
All you know is: NOT THIS.
Sometimes that's all you CAN know.
All you know is that some deep life force within you is saying, NOT THIS, and it won't be silenced.
Your body is saying: NOT THIS.
Your heart is saying: NOT THIS.
Your soul is saying: NOT THIS.
But your brain can't bring itself to say "NOT THIS", because that would cause a serious problem. The problem is: You don't have a Plan B in place. This is the only life you have. This is the only job you have. This is the only spouse you have. This is the only house you have. Your brain says, "It may not be great, but we have to put up with it, because there are no other options." You're not sure how you got here — to this place of THIS — but you sure as hell don't know how to get out...
So your brain says: "WE NEED TO KEEP PUTTING UP WITH THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL WE HAVE."
But still, beating like a quiet drum, your body and your heart and your soul keep saying: NOT THIS...NOT THIS...NOT THIS.